The Personal Diary of Archmagus Ozohr
I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need, if anything. All I know is that I am on a path. Why I am here? Why me? That is a mystery as well.
It is an exhilaration and a torment at times. To have so much I want to do and learn, but being so unsure of where to start or where to focus my energies. But I must start somewhere. I am torn.
Sometimes I question my sanity. My mind races. Sometimes my convictions are felt deeply, calming. Sometimes I question it all. To be gifted is as much a curse and a blessing. To be gifted with magic, even worse.
So much potential. I can change the world, I feel it. But I also worry that I can lose everything just as easily. I feel a desire to help. I feel that I am a good man, but so do most madmen. How can one really know?
I feel love in my heart. I am gentle. I want to love and be loved. But I also dream of grand battles. I dream of heroism. Echoes of past lives or childish fantasies I have never been able to outgrow. What if I’m deluding myself?
Do I dedicate myself to the path of a secluded mystic? I can learn much this way, center myself, clear the competing influences, voices, and energy. But we near a critical juncture, I feel that so strongly. This world needs leadership. It needs heroes. The people of our world have gone so far astray and direction of the currents don’t look favorable. I can’t be worse than those who currently hold influence and sway, can I?
I crave allies and compatriots. Thoughts race of my own cult, dedicated to each other and dedicated to truth, to the strength of love. But I don’t want to mislead them. They need an icon, but I have so much insecurity. It is impossible to lead with honesty when I still hide so much of myself.
Other see strength, I think. They see Ozohr the soldier, Ozohr the strong. That is a part of me, a life I have lived many times. I have killed and I have died many times. I hope that this will be the life in which I’m able to break that cycle - for myself, and for all. It’s so destructive, yet so integral to our experience. I have so far been spared from death in this life, and it was so I could make this life about love.
But how? How do I proceed? I’ve been spared from death, but I have not been spared from abuse in this life and I fear that its poison lurks within me, just wanting for the chance to escape and infect others. So, I isolate myself, I sequester that part of my history. But this also prevents me from excising its energy. I try to continue onwards but a shadow forms a ball and chain which continually interrupts my progress.
I’ve been stuck. I have the freedom to move towards my desires. But I do not have the freedom that comes with trusting my instincts. I fear the power of my potential. I fear hurting others with my desire to change everything, to do good. Because what if I do bad?
What if I’m not ready? I need knowledge, but I also crave action. Gods damn it! I need to center myself, and quickly. What am I to do? I’m so torn.
I have to come to a reckoning with the fact that if I want to change things there must be a disruption. There will be unintended consequences. All I can do is act in honestly and with the guiding principle to cause no undue harm. But I must express my insights, I owe that to myself. If the world doesn’t want to listen, I shall force nothing upon them.
I have gifts. I have the gifts of magic, insight, and intuition. Others have the gift of magic too, but not all like me. The source of my magic comes from truths ancient and transcendent. Truths that echo across alternate dimension and realities of space-time. My desire to discover and illuminate those truths is what connects me to source. I wish use use those truths for good.
That is what has brought me to the road. To this journey of which I can’t quite explain the purpose. Why do I go here and there? I simply feel a pull or a calling. I am searching for something. Each place must have a lesson to teach me. Sometimes I find it and sometimes maybe I don’t.
Oh how I miss the tranquility and peace of my Grotto. The home that called me. The home that welcomed me. And oh how I curse this unquenchable desire for truth that made it impossible for me to remain there any longer. Why do I feel called to the road? With its trials, tribulations, and solitude?
I suppose it is for moments like this. Where I must search myself and my thoughts. Before I can find THE truth I must find the truth of what I truly seek, what I truly desire. I must cast away the illusion which I have cast upon myself. I must excise and bring light to my trials, my tribulations, those who invaded my field with their vile energy as I developed upon my path.
I am hiding from that dark energy because I am scared. I am scared to bring light to it, because I have soldiered on for so long. I had to become very strong to carry that ball and chain, and I did. But with every step I take the ball and chain grows heavier as the shadow grows. And as it has re-entered my conscious awareness every step I take reminds me of the fact that I have the power to bring light to it, yet I have not. I fear appearing weak. I fear that others may think I simply seek their sympathy.
My fear simply feeds the shadow. So, I know what I must do. I must speak. Only then I can walk the road unburdened. Only then, can I find peace. Only then, can I continue my quest for truth with clear eyes and a clear heart.
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Selected Field Notes of Archmagus Ozohr of the Grotto
The Belfry
The Belfry is primarily a research institution located in the eastern edge of the mountain range that borders the Valley of the Gnostics to the north. The location of the Belfry also makes it superbly located to conduct observation and experimentation related to The gate to the Seventh Realm. Due to it’s position near the gate the Belfry also maintains an active force of battle mages, mercenaries, and warriors seeking glory who can attempt intercept or delay malevolent forces exiting the gate before they get loose and wreck havoc in the Runiverse.
The Belfry is located on top of a deep reservoir of mana which provides ample fuel sources for magical experiments, rituals, and alchemy. Nobody quite knows who was the first to discover this mana reservoir, but soon after it became known wizards began flocking to the area to set up workshops and towers. These early inhabitants of the area which would become the Belfry often squabbled with each other and as a result sometimes spend as much time fighting each other as pursuing their research.
Because of the powerful mana in the area small disputes could often end up in feuds that caused massive craters of rubble, with much collateral damage. These feuds also distracted the inhabitants from monitoring the gate to the Seventh Realm which resulted in more than a few grisly deaths, possessions, and abductions. The wizards realize this was no good for anybody. They agreed to cooperate and formed a special council to manage the area. This also allowed them to unify their towers into a coherent citadel allowing for more efficiency, collaboration, and power.
The Belfry is now run by a council of mages consisting of one councillor from each of the main factions: red, blue, green, yellow, brown, purple, white. These councillors are selected by differing processes depending on the faction they represent. The council is responsible for overall administrative and governance functions in the Belfry, decision making, and conflict resolution.
Each faction is allotted roughly an equal amount of laboratory space to conduct research and experiments as they see fit. When functioning at it’s best the Belfry serves as a place where the pursuit of knowledge transcends politics for the benefit of all denizens of the runiverse. At its worst, the Belfry becomes a cesspool of politicking and espionage. Outright sabotage is not unheard of. Therefore, each faction tightly guards access to its facilities and libraries.
There do exist collaborative environments as well as common research and experimentation facilities. Independent mages and commercial entities may also rent facilities in the Belfry. This is one of the main sources that the governing body of the Belfry uses to maintain common facilities and security. Other sources of income include taxes and rent from the marketplace which is a renowned location for those seeking the most cutting edge (though risky) magical or technological goods, prototypes, and experimental items which didn’t quite work as intended.
Many wise and powerful wizards call the Belfry their home.
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